A Day of Sadness

The horrific shooting in Connecticut has left me feeling hollow inside. I tossed and turned in bed last night trying to release the images that kept racing through my mind. How do we make sense of this tragedy? How do we find the answers that our broken hearts yearn for? How do we move through the holiday season with joyful celebration? I don’t have answers for any of these questions.

Lately it feels harder and harder to have faith in mankind. The world seems to be spinning out of control, and bad news is around every corner. As I desperately try to find meaning in the painful realities of life, I find my faith deeply challenged.

As humans, we are forever changed in moments like this. The innocence of our children is stripped from their souls, and  society begins to walk silently in a veil of fear. We desperately struggle to regain a sense of peace and normalcy, only to be shaken once again (often within days) by another terrible story. We haven’t quite healed from the past tragedy, yet we are forced to cope with the next. This overload of unexpected emotion can leave us feeling confused, sad, and helpless.

My beautiful daughter is in college now, and on the cusp of womanhood. I feel very fortunate that her campus is close to home, and I’m able to share in this special time. When she leaves for school each day, I secretly say a prayer. I ask Divine Spirit to lovingly wrap her in warm light and keep her safe.

My heart and prayers go out to our country, especially to the parents who lost their precious babies yesterday.

Motherhood

Your contagious smile lit up the tiny cracks of my soul

that I didn’t know existed.

The twinkle in your left eye reminded me

that I did something good,

and the twinkle in your right

made me believe in magic.

That over-the-top giggle

that left you pink and breathless,

lived quietly inside of me too.

I used to ponder in awe at the perfection

of your fairy-sized toenails,

and imagine star constellations

while gazing at your freckles.

You could literally stop time

by simply grinning in your sleep,

and weave endless wonder

with just one word…mama.

My lovely girl I love you so,

I’m proud to call you daughter.

 

This is one of my favorite photos of my daughter at the age of four. Emma Rose was staring up at a ride at the county fair with wonder in her eyes.

This is one of my favorite photos of Emma Rose at the age of four. I love the depth and wonder in my daughter’s eyes as she stares at a ride at the county fair.

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2 Responses to A Day of Sadness

  1. Gina Bojarski says:

    Oh Cindy you are truly a beautiful spirit! I always find such joy in your blog, even with all the sadness expressed with which I completely share your emotions you post that adorable picture of Emma Rose and a beautiful poem. I can only believe that we must keep our positive vibes pouring out to spread much needed sunshine all around. I believe that it is contagious and that we may just be what maybe even one desperate person needs on any given day.
    A couple of your cards are appearing more and more in several of my accounts and it is so fun when I pull out a package and see your heartfelt art!
    xoxo

    • Hi Gina!
      It’s always so wonderful to hear from you, thank you so much for your kind thoughts. Thank you for spreading your sunshine, it truly brightened my day. That’s so funny you see my cards… I love it! Carey showed me a recent photo of Nick and Mia, what a couple of gorgeous young adults! Amazing how fast our kids grow up. I’m sure you are bursting with pride! Wishing you and your lovely family a wonderful holiday season. Please tell your Mom and Pop I said hello, just love those two 🙂
      Hugs flying atcha~
      Cindy

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