Remember Me?

Yoo Hoo my lovelies…I’m back. I took an unexpected blog sabbatical and woke up this morning with the urge to return. Not sure why my typing fingers suddenly went on strike…I think I needed to shut out the the world for a bit.

Here’s some latest ramblings…

I watched an interesting film called “Hesher” last night… a quirky drama/comedy about coming to grips with pain and heartache. The message was to value what you have in life, and not to forfeit yourself while grieving. It was a touching and poignant reminder for me.

I’m currently caught in a tiny web of fear. The last six years has taught me to sit quietly in the silk threads of discomfort. I admit, I still initially wiggle a bit, and then remember “the struggle” is what got me tangled up in the first place. Sort of like a gold chain that get’s knotted in a jewelry box… sometimes we need to walk away, only to find the twisted metal magically untangle after a short rest. I’m quietly resting in a sticky uncomfortable web right now. I remember…this too shall pass….and return. The currents of life bathing us with sorrow and joy when we least expect it.

For me a deep breath and fresh perspective help unwind life’s mysterious complications. I suppose that’s why I’m so drawn to yoga. The hot room reminds me to stay in the moment while trusting the process. The key of course, is to practice each pose free from all judgement…especially when a posture looks downright crappy. That’s a tough one for me…I can play judge, priest, and devil’s advocate better than an over-bearing mother and neurotic nanny rolled into one. The yoga somehow quiets the noise that rents space in my head….my job is to remember that I have the power to evict all brain babble.

I like this affirmation I came across the other day:

I kick my own ass and wash my own brain.
I push my own buttons and trick my own pain.
I burn my own flags and roast my own heroes.
I mock my own fears and cheer my own zeroes.

Nothing can stop me from teasing my shadow.
I’m full of empty and backwards bravado.
My wounds are tattoos that reveal my true beauty.
I turn tragic to magic and make bliss my duty.

I honor my faults till they become my virtues.
I play jokes on my nightmares
till I’m sure they won’t hurt you.

I won’t accept gifts that infringe on my freedom.
I shun sacred places that stir up my boredom.
I change my name daily, pretend to be nobody.
I fight for the truth if it’s majestically rowdy.

Gravity fucks me and I fuck it back.
The sun is my sex slave, the moon smokes my crack.
I pump up my laughter with idiot laughter.
I’m living happily, in love ever after.

I brag about what I can’t do and don’t know.
I take off my clothes to those I don’t know.
I’m so far beyond lazy, I work like a god.
I’m totally crazy; in fact that’s my job.

Hope you’re day dreaming of strawberry fields forever….while saying “ahhhhh” in your softest tone. 😉

xoxo,
Cindy
I Can Fly Poem 173

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Musical Beds

Do you ever feel like you’re living in your pet’s world instead of your own? I’m about ready to crawl onto the floor and get into one of their beds just to get a good night’s sleep.

Who's bed

 

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Titu’s Jungle Tree House

See what Titu, the zany traveling cat has been up to lately. Stay tuned more kitty escapades coming soon! Meow….

Titu's Jungle #2

Titu's Jungle #3

Titu's Jungle (blk:wht) 173

Titu's Jungle Tree House (173)

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Lily Lessons

Lilys day 1

I recently bought a bouquet of flowers at Trader Joe’s. Flowers are one of those frivolous items I have a hard time buying for myself. I get that same uncomfortable feeling when I purchase a $14. artsy magazine or a $12. bottle of fancy nail polish.  A strange guilt overcomes me when I spend money on things I don’t necessarily need. Funny thing is I won’t think twice when purchasing these type of items for someone else.

My scribbled shopping list consisted of flaxseed oatmeal, Greek yogurt, and avocados….flowers weren’t on the list. I had recently been to a friend’s place, and loved the fresh blooms on her coffee table, this was the tiny push I needed. I slowly circled the floral display carefully deciding which bunch to place in my cart. You would have thought I was buying a damn car the way I seriously pondered this purchase. I began to laugh at myself, and secretly said, “Get over yourself Cindy…it’s only flowers.”

I decided on the bouquet of lilies you see above. I was somewhat concerned that the buds were closed, but then rationalized that I would get my money’s worth because they would last longer.

When I arrived home my precious purchase was attended to first. After carefully cutting the long stems at the proper angle, I gingerly placed them in the perfect vase.

There was no doubt in my mind that my flowers would begin to open the next day. They didn’t. This is where the lesson began. I started to think about expectations, and how I strive not to have any. Expectations tend to get me in trouble. I suppose we all expect things at times, especially when it comes to people.

My goal is to love unconditionally, while not creating pictures in my mind on how others will react. Perhaps I do this to protect myself from disappointment. The lilies made me think about the challenge of accepting things as they are. More importantly, they remind me that things are just as they should be. They have become an odd symbol of trust and acceptance.

Each morning the first thing I’ve been looking at are my lilies. Here they are at day three.

lilys day3

Yup, still closed…except one lone bloom. Hmmm, was it me? Was I not placing them in the correct light, should I add a shot of sugar in the water, perhaps I cut the stems wrong? While washing the dishes, I pondered the fate of my blooms.

I began to think about expectations…that thing that gets me into emotional trouble at times. I realized that when I hold onto longings, I often miss the beauty of now. I began to examine my closed buds with new eyes. I noticed their delicate shape and silky texture, and suddenly saw the unique beauty each stalk held. Yes, a different beauty than I had hoped for, but nonetheless beautiful.

I relate to these tightly closed blooms. They remind me how that I too need to close up at times. I’m deeply grateful for the important people in my life that instinctively understand my need to occasionally withdraw and recharge. It feels wonderful to be accepted exactly as I am.

A week has passed, and my blooms are still doing their thing, which was absolutely nothing. I’ve decided this wise bouquet certainly knows how to take care of itself. I still look at my vase first thing each morning, now more out of curiosity than expectation. My urge to return my non-flowering misfits has passed, and I tenderly cherish my silent lilies.

I honor their need to stay tightly coiled and release them from all expectations. I smile at the magic they have lovingly handed me.

Here’s a peek at my lilies this morning…day 7. Beautiful aren’t they?

lilys day7

 

 

 

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Ingrid’s Sky

I adore my iphone. It’s a magical tool that let’s me communicate with special souls. My favorite feature is it’s ability to shoot a picture in the blink of an eye. Instantly I can capture a moment of magic and share it with someone I love….how cool is that?!

Even more amazing is when someone sends me something totally unexpected. Knowing another human being thought of me while gazing at true beauty is enough to take my breath away. It’s a quiet way to bow to one another.

A few months ago a fellow traveler texted me the beautiful images below. Amazingly enough, I was shooting the same sky on the other side of town. I was once again reminded that great minds think alike.

I would like to now send God’s sky to a treasured friend who resides in the Netherlands….so very far away, yet so very close in heart. This is for you my lovely song bird. Please know you are being thought of this morning.

sky 1

sky 2

sky 3

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Titu’s Underwater Adventure

I’m busily working on “The Wonderful and Wacky Adventures of Titu the Cat”.  A six piece collection that follows the colorful travels of a zany feline explorer.

A  friend of mine is the proud owner of my muse, Titu. This elegant kitty lives life her way…. probably like most cats I suppose. Even though this slinky number glides with coolness, I’m convinced there’s an off-beat wackadoodle lurking deep within her svelte frame.

In truth, her full name is Tituba, which is quite fitting for this snazzy sweetheart. I actually planned on using this name for the collection, that is, until my friend gave me the actual meaning. Tituba was one of the first to be accused of practicing witchcraft during the Salem witch trials. Who knew? I didn’t.

When licensing artwork you have to play by the rules. Yeah, I create what I want, but I also like to occasionally sell it. I was concerned the name might scare off marketing big-wigs, and spirited Titu might never get a shot at gracing the shelves of your local Hallmark store. So hence, the name Titu was born.

“Titu’s Underwater Adventure” is watercolor painting number three. When I showed my teenager this one,  she smiled and said, “Love it Mom, but don’t you think it needs something?” Smarty pants…she knows I love details…she on the other hand likes simple lines. Hell, I never did know when to stop.

I’m currently working on “Titu’s Jungle Tree-House”, coming soon.

Enjoy the artwork….hope your day is filled with unexpected silliness. Boink. Boink.

Birth of Titu's Sub

Titu's Underwater Adventure (173)

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Thru Emma’s Eyes

Every now and then, my lovely kid, Miss Emma Rose downloads her iphone images onto my computer without me knowing. While browsing through my files, I will suddenly come across an image of my sparkly daughter’s life. These photos make me smile and sigh at the same time. I get to view her world through secret eyes, it’s almost as if I’m an outsider looking in.

Of course I think my girl is brilliant and beautiful…she’s my child, but in one quick flash, I’m able to see her as a stranger. I look objectively at these images, and I instantly like what I see. It’s then I realize that even if she wasn’t my daughter, I would want to get to know her. Her warm spirit radiates through her knowing face, and immediately draws you into her space.

I love the shots below of Emma and her boyfriend, Dylan. They remind me of being 18 again…when doing nothing with a boy was the most fun of all. Simply giggling at inside jokes and being silly was enough.

Seeing Emma smile from her sweet soul makes me overwhelmingly happy. I’m thankful she’s able to open her heart to love and experience the magic that comes with it. (Yes, I did get Emma’s permission before posting these pics.)

em and dylan 1

em and dylan2

em and dylan 3

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